The language we use creates our world. Studies have shown that the more negative words we use, the more negativity we see around us. Alternatively, the more positivity we include into our lives in the way we talk and think, the more positivity we will see in the world around us.
That being said, it’s hard to be positive when we’re trying to overcome grief. A lot of times, we’re struggling to go about our normal days, much less trying to be positive about it. But, no matter how difficult it is, we need to bring the rays of positivity back into our lives. This baby step process is slow, but there are small changes you can make everyday that will help in the long run. For example, pay attention to the way you talk to yourself and others!
Avoid the ‘sorry‘
I have a confession. I say sorry, all the time. If I’m being honest, I’m more likely to say sorry when I shouldn’t then when I actually should. When everything boils down, I think we all say ‘sorry’ more than we should. This is especially true though for when we are grieving.
While you are grieving, try to avoid saying ’sorry’ for the miscellaneous things that come up during the day. The feelings you’re experiencing are rough! You don’t need to be apologizing for them when you’ve done nothing wrong! Apologizing for being sad will only make yourself feel worse! Give yourself the grace and patients to heal and move on, don’t beat yourself up because its not at the rate you or someone else thinks is ideal.
Don’t say ‘but‘, use ‘and‘ instead
Switching out the word ‘but’ and using ‘and’ instead might seem a little trivial. After all, can a three letter word being switched for another three letter word really make an actual difference? Well yes, it can.
When we use ‘but’ we are putting a negative into something. For example: I’m doing better but I still miss him a lot. You’re allowed to feel two things at the same time. It is possible to be getting better and feeling better and to miss that person tremendously still. By saying ‘but’ instead of ‘and’ you’re putting a limitation on yourself and degrading the progress you’ve made- because yes that’s progress!
Don’t use the word ‘should’ with yourself and others.
In my opinion, this is a word we probably shouldn’t use as often as we do *insert chuckle here*. When we say things ‘should’ be another way, we’re living in a world that doesn’t exist.
“I should feel better by now”- for example.
If you’re not feeling better, then you need more time to heal! There is no if’s, and’s, but’s, or should’s about it. Don’t worry about what ‘should’ be done or not done- because no one actually knows what should or shouldn’t be done. Things are as they need to be, don’t worry about how it ‘should’ be.
The language we use colors our days. Life can bring us down with its many twists and turns, but that doesn’t mean that we need to make it more difficult because we’re subconsciously bringing ourselves down. Try to cut these words out, or use them in less restrictive ways. Avoid these three words while grieving to recover and to give yourself the grace to learn how to navigate the world again!